Holding Boundaries versus Building Barriers

For many people it is a challenge to hold boundaries and not allow others to tramp all over them. They struggle to be assertive and to hold their own. In these cases I often find that the aura – the energy bubble which is our first boundary and enshrines our personal space – has lost its integrity. It can be ripped, or open at the top or saggy and deflated. In some cases a person may have pulled it right back in close to the body.

   If that first boundary is compromised then we can often easily be overwhelmed by the energy of other people or situations. Also if we can’t hold our first boundary then we create artificial ones through physical distance (how many people choose to live a good drive or even flight away from family!!), or through withdrawing from opportunities for experiences or interactions.

   Even more damaging is when the mind feeding on our anxiety convinces us that the best solution to protecting ourselves is to build barricades behind patterns such as inferiority, guilt, anger, shame and fear. So now what boundary we do hold is around distortion and faulty beliefs about who we are.

   We actually do most of our communicating on the energetic level - reading each other’s auras and energy field. And so if the aura is pulled back or not strong and shaped around a set of faulty beliefs we can be read as ‘victim’,  ‘forever-giver’, ‘splintered’  or ‘weak ‘. Others then adjust their behaviour accordingly, or we draw towards us those who are most likely to take advantage of these patterns, setting up a vicious circle of fear, reaction and further entrenchment of the negative barrier, the negative narrative we continually recycle in our mind.
  If this sounds familiar, there are actions you can take:

• Step One is to refuse to indulge and feed these distorted negative versions of self – stop listening with devoted attention to the mind’s addiction to fear.
• Step Two is to find and embrace your authentic self, drawing it out from behind the barriers, to love all that you are and accept your inalienable right to be all that you are.
• Step Three is to pump up your aura – fill your ‘bubble’ with light and energy and see it as a taut, blown up balloon. You can also put a mirror finish on the outside to bounce people’s negativity back at them. Then notice how the perceptions and therefore responses towards you change. (I have clients from the primary school play-ground to corporate meeting rooms benefiting from this latter technique.)
• Step Four – repeat 1-3 until they are your default position, honouring and holding the light you came here to shine!