The Unsustainable Game Plan

Several of my sessions recently have revolved around identifying what I’m calling the "Unsustainable Game Plan". The plan we came up with when young, that seemed to work so we’ve stuck with it. For instance, I’ll be everything to everyone, I will attack before I’m attacked, I’ll just adjust to everyone else, I will avoid conflict, I will achieve through fear of failure, I will expect the worst etc etc 

  When we put the plan in place we were protecting our inner self and if it worked for the first few times – especially in the battlefield that can be family and school friends - then we incorporated it as our go to game plan when we feel threatened or unsure.

  However the important word is ‘unsustainable’ because if it is designed to protect, then it is based on fear and is developed to hide an aspect of ourselves. It is also exhausting and as the purpose of soul evolution is to reveal our true selves, it will keep being challenged until it becomes completely obvious that the game plan is no longer working or worth pursuing. So maybe try the following.

1. Become conscious of your ‘game plan’. Think about what your automatic response is to a stressful situation or identify your default behaviour for getting on with people. 
2. Feel around it and follow the fear to its source e.g. I might rock the boat, I don’t want people to dislike me, what if I’m not needed, what if I fail? 
3. Have a very honest look at your win/loss ratio on this game plan e.g. I have lots of friends but I do everything for them, I am usually well prepared but spend my life in a state of anxiety, I keep the peace but have never felt heard, people don't challenge my opinions but no-one seeks me out for a friendly chat.
4. Finally thank the 'Junior' coach who came up with this game plan and then let the 'Adult' coach step up with a new, sustainable way of being that builds on the strength and clarity of hard earned wisdom and is based on a commitment to honour your true self.