Very
sadly some good friends of mine have recently had to deal with every parent’s
worst nightmare, the suicide of their eldest son. The most heart breaking part
of a heartbreaking ceremony to celebrate his life was seeing him as a bright
eyed little boy, happy, engaged with his siblings, curious and excited; and
knowing that somehow that had all been overwhelmed by a shadow that was just beginning
to become visible in the later photos.
Unfortunately
my friends are far from alone in having to deal with the shocking aftermath of
suicide. the overall suicide rate in Australia as based on 2015 figures equates to eight deaths by suicide each day.
The
reasons someone chooses to end their own life are myriad and complex. Victims,
their stories, families and circumstances are of course incredibly varied. For some
the external environment certainly is dangerous but for all of them their internal
environment is the place that poses the greatest threat. The last voice they hear
is their own. An angry, relentless, hope-less, fear filled, self-loathing and
ultimately murderous voice. A voice that demands only one solution, that it be
stopped.
It’s a voice aided by today’s
emphasis on the dichotomies of success and failure, as opposed to viewing life
as a spectrum of experiences which are all worthy and useful chapters in our story. It
is abetted by society’s impatience with the ‘different’. Its power can be
dimmed somewhat by loving parents, supportive workmates or friends but, as my friends
tragically discovered, their love and acceptance could not silence it. It also
sets up vicious cycles on hormonal, chemical, emotional and energetic levels. That’s why stopping that voice before it gets hold is so important and why showing primary school children (before the hormone storm hits) how to protect and honour themselves in their internal space should be taught at schools ahead of every other subject. Before all the information that they will likely never need in order to survive, teach teenagers how to befriend themselves and therefore subdue that voice that seeks to betray their very being.
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