I am always
saddened when I have clients say that they can’t recall the last time they had
a good belly laugh or can’t remember what it’s like to feel the joy of being
alive. They are bogged down in all the demands of living relevant to their time
of life – school, job seeking, chasing a career, raising children, caring for ageing
parents etc etc. Also, if we don’t do the work, we tend to reinforce
and more deeply embed our fears, anxieties, and negative belief systems until they
become our default settings. Then the
joyful child we once were is progressively buried under pain and shame, anger
and angst. As I have mentioned in other blogs when we operate from within this distorted
conditioning we are caught in the swing between the hurt child and the out of
control adult. However if we begin to heal and release the negative barriers
then it is possible to hold the authentic adult self, and ultimately to connect
once more to the joy of the child.
That’s why I
know a client is on the healing track when, in a session, I am given an image
from their childhood where they are completely immersed in the joy of living. When
I remind them of those moments clients can become quite emotional or look
stunned at the realization that they have left that wee person so far behind.
Rather than
running from ourselves and chasing that illusive ‘happiness’ that we are certain
must be just around the corner, we have to begin the journey back
to joy by sitting in communion with self. Then we have to forgive ourselves our
mistakes, we have to say sorry to ourselves for some of the things we’ve put
ourselves through and we have to applaud ourselves for making it through, struggling
but learning, challenged but growing and, hey, still going. Then as a reward for all
that work we permit ourselves joy, we allow the beauty of this earth
to move us and we let wonder fill our souls. We rejoice in our ability to laugh, rekindle our mischievous ways, and honour our right to have
fun 'just cos’.
If you wish to
reach across the years and give that joyful child a helping hand, you can get
out some baby photos where you were obviously happy. Try remembering what it felt like the first time you built a sandcastle or rode on a roller-coaster. Climb a tree, have a swing, run down a hill with your arms
outstretched, roll down a grassy bank (without being embarrassed), skip, have a pillow fight, have a water
fight, go rock-pooling or make a snow angel depending on the time of year. If
you’re still having trouble click onto this you tube video of a baby called
Micah, laughing as his dad rips up a job rejection letter!
Reclaim your
joyful child today – he/she is not as far away as you think!
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| My sister Christine and me (L) and Susan the doll |
